A boy, an Anniversary, and a Poem to Remember September by.

On September 11, 2001, I was at my mom's house cleaning out mine and my brothers old rooms, fixing them up for my son Gabe and I. We had been living with my mom for over a year by then, it just took me that long to accept my relationship with his dad was truly over and this was home. I was tiptoeing around the detritus of childhood that my brothers and I had left in the basement of mom and dad's. The day before I had stepped on a fishing hook, which embedded itself in my big toe, one stitch, one afternoon at the ER, and one Tetanus shot later I was back to cleaning. Gabe was helping in the way that a three year old helps, looking forward to a new room painted the apple green he had picked out - and looking forward most of all to the big boy bed we had put on lay-away the week before.

My mom yelled, "come here, you have to see this." in the sort of tone that conveys urgency and disbelief. She was watching the Today show, like we always did, and a plane had just flown into the World Trade Center. Seemingly by accident, but no, minutes later we all knew it was no accident. I sat like so many other people that day in fear and worry, wondering if anyone I knew had been hurt or killed. Fortunately not. To this day I wonder about a NYC fireman I had met on the way home from vacation a few weeks earlier, he was behind me in line at a Dunkin' Donuts in Massachusetts, a long line, the poor girl at the counter was having one of those days where everything that can go wrong does. He had the whole store in stitches, funny, outgoing guy, he diffused the grumpiness with a couple of one liners that I've long since forgotten. I never knew his name, I hope he is alive and well somerwhere making someone else smile on their bad day.

In the weeks that followed I watched my little boy build towers out of whatever toys he had at hand and knock them down. He learned the words to God Bless America and would sing it everywhere we went. He remembered the victims in his prayers and I struggled to answer the far too grown up questions about why people would do such a thing. Questions that segued into questions about war as he watched his cousin get ready to go to Iraq the following year. Ten years later he still has a lot of questions.

I hadn't thought he was paying attention to the anniversary, my teenager, who's just taller than me. I assumed his thoughts were occupied by more boyish pursuits, like eighth grade, girls, and video games. I was wrong, and once again I'm surprised and pleased by the compassion and depth of feeling he possesses for the world around him.

These are his words, his remembrance, and I send it out to world. A few days late on my part, but no less heartfelt for that:


To those who were lost this mourning day;
I'll take a moment to stand and say,
Your lives were certainly not lost in vain,
... Not even leaving eternal pain,
The towers fell across New York's face,
... Smoke and rubble all over the place,
but the lives that were lost, remember me,
We'll never forget the lives of thee.
9/11/11.

Gabe 9/11/11

Big waves

oooohsplash, originally uploaded by marcydebbie.

Big waves are a treat, well as long as they are only so big. I spent today at the beach with my mom, listening to the unusually big surf pound the shore, eating seafood for lunch, and enjoying the rare opportunity of going out for a few hours without any kids. Relaxing until the end, when I realized that no one would be home to open the door for the kids when they got off the bus (when my sister Steph was alive she was always home with a caregiver, she was too fragile to go out) We still haven't gotten used to an occasionally empty house. Luckily the kids were able to take a bus to my friends house, the day was saved. I have the best friends, and the best mom. It was a treat to be able to spend a day together.

big surf

rockersplash, originally uploaded by marcydebbie.

this rock is about twelve feet tall and this is low tide!
Last night my son and I were standing about ten feet higher than this rock on the edge of the bluff watching the tide come in. We don't get surf like this very often in Rhode Island, rarely enough that it's an event worth making time for. We spent about an hour sitting enjoying the sight and sound. A long, low rumble that you could feel in your chest and had to yell over to carry on any kind of conversation. A few minutes after this picture the park ranger came by to tell us the park was closing, just after we got into our car a wave came up and splashed the spot were we where standing. An evening well spent.

Point Judith Light

Point Judith Light, originally uploaded by marcydebbie.

Big surf last night and today thanks to Katia, a beautiful day at the beach with my mom. And time to play with the new flikr photo toys

the new school bag

the new school bag, originally uploaded by marcydebbie.

the new school bag made from her big brothers old shirt....and some ribbon. couldn't be easier, I just traced a shopping tote with soap (great for marking darks) cut out the front and back of the shirt, sewed them along the sides and bottom, took a strip from the bottom of the shirt and sewed it around the top on the inside to reinforce (folding it over would have cut off the design).
used screaming bright pink rock n roll gross grain ribbon around the top and for handles....added buttons for decoration and to give a bit more staying power to the handles.

New school bag

New school bag, originally uploaded by marcydebbie.